I can remember being in a place of disconnection with myself and the world around me.

It was almost like I was living in a simulation of my own self.

Even though I was in the world, living my life, being part of my family, nothing felt real somehow.

As I think back to that time, I can’t recall ever feeling safe or at peace.

Perhaps momentarily if I was submerged in nature somewhere.

Aside from that, I just couldn’t locate any kind of reference point.

I realise now as I look back, it was because I was constantly locating myself externally via other people’s expectations or what I thought they wanted of me.

The actual location of myself and my own sense of self was nowhere to be found.

I heard the comedian and actor Jim Carrey once say depression can be thought of as the need for ‘deep rest’. An exhaustion of the soul having to uphold a pretence or an act that is not the truth of who we are.

It is exhausting walking around in the world as though you are not really there.

But the real pain comes from not knowing why. That was what was so crippling for me.

Not knowing why I felt so disconnected, powerless and at the mercy of the world around me.

But this wasn’t the worst thing. The worst of it was that I knew there was something really important I was supposed to be doing.

I tried working menial jobs where I didn’t need to think. Where I could hide in agreeableness and a false world of acknowledgement.

Yet I would be haunted in the evenings and weekends by the real competence I could sense within me.

No matter where I went externally or internally, this knowing that I had potential would never leave me.

I had seen it emerge too many times. I had seen how good I was with people, how good I was at advising others.

The moments when I found myself coaching people of much higher social status than me at social engagements. And they would listen. Many times I heard people say, ‘you should be a coach!’

I just used to smile and thank them and completely disregard it.

I didn’t want to be a coach. What did that mean anyway? Sitting in an office listening to everyone’s problems?

I knew I had the potential to be successful, but success at the time meant big things.

And big things meant money.

So in the evenings and weekends, I was always, always, always trying to figure out the next big idea.

Trying to come up with some kind of plan for a business. It was endless and relentless and it was all based around money.

Sometimes I would get something off the ground, and sometimes I would make chunks of money.

But nothing ever truly resonated, nothing ever really addressed the haunting sense that I was not fulfilling my natural abilities.

I realise now as I look back, success to me was all about being seen to be successful by the people I was trying to feel accepted by. So I wouldn’t feel like an outcast, so I wouldn’t be rejected by the community.

Deep down though being a part of the community in the conventional sense and having the typical successful life was the last thing I wanted.

On I went, striving forward with another part of myself grabbing my collar and pulling me back again.

On and on this went until I did find some consistency with success having built a business renovating old properties, which actually I enjoyed. But I knew there was more.

Really, I was using my competence in a crafty way to make large sums of money, but I wasn’t really fooling anyone. Especially myself.

Especially as the coaching kept happening, I kept finding myself facilitating increasingly higher-level business owners in the real estate industry.

Finally, something really got a hold of my collar as I came face to face with the business folding around me. It was a mix of bad luck, a bad choice of investors, and a change in the market. I lost everything, the business, my house and the veil I was hiding behind.

I found myself with nothing again, but this time I was truly exhausted. Not just from all that had happened, but from playing the character that wasn’t me.

I knew I had to face myself and I knew I needed help to do it. I needed someone who had done what I was trying to do.

It was at this point I discovered the HSP trait. I got the right mentoring and immersed myself in the truth of my sensory awareness.

I began to get honest about what really fascinated me about life and what my life path had really taught me.

Gradually, I became conscious again of the lifelong interest I’d had around purpose and human development.

I realised that all this time the pain I was experiencing was my resistance to this truth of myself.

The exhaustion had been around my insistence that my own calling and purpose was something I wanted it to be. Rather than owning and accepting what was actually there.

I realised that coaching to me, meant facilitating people to see the truth of who they are. To embrace the potential they have to create change.

So I started taking it seriously and I started coaching and facilitating. I found that it was the most fulfilling thing I had ever done.

I was coaching in alignment with my own area of interest and finally, I took ownership of my gift.

I began to realise that it was HSPs that I wanted to work with exclusively.

As a result of my own struggle and what the trait made possible in me, I realised how important we are.

I saw for myself the role we are to play in the very pursuit of truth.

The ability we have to create profound transformation in others, in businesses and organisations all over the world.

I began to feel compelled to help reframe the trait into one of advantage and importance.

Then in time, I was able to design the process of self-revelation into a program for HSPs who have a similar calling to reveal their own natural area of competence and ability.

As a result of seeing it work over and over again, for HSPs from all walks of life, it is one we can all follow.

When we live from the truth of our gift and honour ourselves in this way, everything begins to align.

The lie begins to dissolve away and you will know the success and fulfilment that was always destined for you.

As the rapper and songwriter, Jay Z once said, “the goal is not to be successful and famous. The goal, is if you have a specific God-given ability, to live your life out through that.”

As HSPs, life can be unbearable if we are not doing this, and it doesn’t have to be this way.

I have seen these shifts so many times now and if what you have read here today resonates for you, the path back to yourself is here for you too.

You can read all about the process by clicking the link below. You can even try it in stages and you can also book a call with me to find out if this is for you.

I hope to see you soon!

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Written by Willow McIntosh